Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
