But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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