Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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