meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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