I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
