I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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