How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
