"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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