He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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