I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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