We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize