How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
