can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
