You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
