I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
