He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
