I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
