Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize