I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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