I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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