even my farts smell like vagina
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
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Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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