Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
