No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
