ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
