Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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