I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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