You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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