i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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