Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize