They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
