I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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