I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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