you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
