You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
