May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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