Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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