You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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