he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
