I should be sponsored by Trojan
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
