Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I want a musical about memes.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
