My Higher Power is John Stamos
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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