By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
