i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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