The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
