I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
