So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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