i jhust puked up my retainher.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
