That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
