Where is the hickey?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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