Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
only you would photoshop your dick
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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