i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
