tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
