Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
