i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize