Kiss
Puke
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
