it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
