I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
