fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
