Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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