so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.