I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
