Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
