My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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