no, he came in my armpit
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
