He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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