I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
